Funny Sayings!

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.


There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.


I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.


Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.


WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.


If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.


You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.


The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.


I got a gun for my wife, best trade I’ve ever made.


So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute, honey!


Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.


If, a two letter word for futility


I don’t care, I don’t have to.


Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.


Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.


To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.


I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.


Horn broken, watch for finger.


All men are idiots … I married their king.


The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.


My kid had sex with your honor student.


Earth first…we’ll mine the other planets later.


Give pizza chants.